Love Yourself
by YoseiNoAme
Summary: She was not just a girl looking for someone to love; she is a girl wishing to be loved. (AU songfic for my OTP: GrUvia)


**©DISCLAIMER:**

 **I do not own Fairy Tail.**

 **It belongs to Mashima-sama. I'm just a fan trying to make a story about my OTP!**

 **(This is a songfic and of course I don't own 'Love Yourself', it belongs to JB and the revised lyrics belongs to Bryana Appley and I just came across it on YouTube.)**

 **Anyway this is AU.**

 **ΩΩΩ**

Juvia Lockser lay unmoving on her bed as she stared on the ceiling of her room seeing right through it to the oblivion that her mind was in.

How long had she been doing that again?

One?

Two?

Three hours?

Who knows really, all she cared about at that time was that she finally was able to experience some peace and quiet after such a long time. She let out a sigh before finally getting up. Outside her dorm room it was already dark proving that she had been spacing out or much likely playing dead for hours. Not feeling so energetic, she moved around and pulled out a notebook and her favourite pen from the drawer of her bedside table. Things had been running in her head since she flopped down on her bed and ideas were popping in her brain constantly and she knew better than to ignore those thoughts. If she didn't put them into use right away it would be bugging her for a long time and she's not so keen about that happening. She already had so many annoying shits to deal with.

Regrettably or maybe not, she just got out of relationship that had been going on and off then on again.

The first stroke of ink on the blank page creating perfectly swirled letters then forming words were like knife that suddenly stubbed her right on her chest where her heart is. It was too painful but she fought hard not to cry. She was so done doing that. She would shed tears no more. It's not worth it.

He's not worth it.

Not anymore.

Gray Fulbuster was never worth it and she's regretting all the time she spent worshipping the very ground he walked on or hanging on every word he used to say.

Those days were gone.

 ** _For all the times that you left me out in the rain_**

 ** _And all the plans you made not using my name_**

It was exactly just like that. He would always left her hanging and hoping that somehow he actually cared and that all the coldness he was showing her were nothing but a mask of what he truly felt for her. She was always fooling herself and he was always leaving her wallowing in the cold he always managed to leave behind. She's tired of him pushing her away then pulling her again just so he could push her even more.

All the time he would forget that she was in fact a part of his life and that she needed attention too. The world is certainly not all about him after all. But he never paid attention towards her. He treated her like she's some insignificant bug that doesn't need to be considered at all, just like a doormat. Like she was nothing but a decoration around him. Some sort of icing on top of his cake.

 ** _You know you broke my heart_**

 ** _To you it was all a game_**

 ** _And I'd still be with you even though that's insane_**

Not once or twice he shuttered her heart into million tiny pieces. In all of those times he always had the got to tell her not to make it a big deal. That it was nothing and always expected to still have her running after him offering him her barely beating buttered heart once more so he could just crush it over again. Well, she used to do that but not anymore. She finally snapped out of her stupid dream of him and her always together forever. It's not really gonna happen. Aside from it's impossible, it's quite pointless.

 ** _And now you're gonna write me off_**

 ** _Coz you don't want anyone thinking you still care_**

 ** _You do but you won't hit my phone up_**

Up until the end, he won't bow down.

She heard he was telling his friends it was nothing and he could care less if she really decided to end what they had acting all cool about it when at one point she could say he was not happy about it and so she hoped and waited for an apology that never came. It was then she realized he was waiting for her to say sorry like it was her fault and not the other way around. Too bad for him, she's not putting herself lower than him anymore. Screw all his cool act and indifference, she's over being a fool about him.

 ** _And maybe if you're moving on_**

 ** _I'ma be that one good girl that you will never get back_**

 ** _Maybe you should know that_**

She knew he used to think that if they indeed fallen apart, she would be the one to be left reeling over the pain and he would be moving on like nothing happened. Well, good for him because she won't ever gonna go back. She's worth more than anything he could come up with and he should at least know that she's not as pathetic as he thought she would be without him. She is his lost and not the other way around. She's not coming back coz there's really no reason to do so.

 ** _My dad used to like you_**

 ** _And he hates everyone_**

Now here was the hard part. Every girl wished for their dad to like the guy they were dating and hers actually did despite not wanting his baby girl fooling around with some random guy from school who would eventually break her heart. That did happen and sadly her dad was deceived too. Gray was actually good at making people believe. Now, she needed to come up with a good way how to tell her dad that the boy who vowed to love and cherish her seemed to have forgotten that promise.

 ** _And I used to love you_**

 ** _But now those days are gone_**

That was never easy, you know, forgetting how much you love someone. But maybe if someone was to stand in her shoes they would understand that after a few times of heart break and pain you'd eventually fall out of love. Even the most nourished love could wither how else the love that was never taken care of? In no time it would actually die.

 ** _And I was so caught up in the thought_**

 ** _Of you being the man you're not._**

 ** _But now I know,_**

 ** _You were the fool to let me go_**

A hundred percent and more stupidity on her part. He was never what she thought he was. She was so blind to see it before but her eyes were finally open. No more day dreaming about a prince with dark hair and cobalt blue eyes that would sweep her off her feet. He's no prince at all. If ever he was always been the villain disguising as a humble prince always ready to strike, aiming to kill. But she was able to escape his trap and now he's the stupid one for letting her go just like that because there's no way she's going back in that cage he called happy relationship. What part of a one sided relationship could be happy?

 ** _Coz if you like the way you look that much_**

 ** _Then baby I'll just let you love yourself_**

 ** _And if you think that I'm still holding on to something_**

 ** _I'll just let you love yourself_**

That's all she could do for him at the end. Let him go and let him be the narcissist that he is. He's too in love with himself it would be bad of her if she's going to be so mean as to stop him from being completely too full of himself. He could go on feeling so high and mighty like he's the only one worth of everything and thinking like all he needed to love was the one he always sees whenever he stood in front of a mirror. She was done patronizing him. It was time for her to adore herself for once. If he could do that all the time, surely she could do it for once in her life.

 ** _I never told you that I hated your friends_**

 ** _The problem was when you became too obsessed_**

 ** _With acting just like them boy you don't make no sense_**

Shame, she was never brave enough to tell him that it's no fun at all whenever he was all so big headed and trying to look cool whenever his friends told him he was lucky he got himself a girl who would do anything for him. What did they think of her? A puppet? And what's with him getting mad when someone else tried to be nice to her? At first she thought he was just jealous and she was actually happy that somehow he really cared about her but how easily he popped her bubble. It was all simply because he thought he was the only one who was supposed to tell her what to do. He did think she was some sort of doll he could control. Boy, she's human, with a functioning brain and a beating heart.

 ** _When I fell in love I thought that you'd be different_**

She was well aware of men not being a good boyfriend or the issue of a guy's infidelity in a relationship and such but she thought and hoped he was different. Didn't she think of him as a prince and as a prince he's supposed to be charming but he's definitely not. He's no prince and certainly different than any other guy. In a very classic Gray Fullbuster way, he is completely different from anyone else. He's the only one capable of being the jerk that he is. Quite exceptional. A jerk among any other jerks.

 ** _And now you're just gonna write me off_**

 ** _After telling me 'Baby can't picture life without you'_**

 ** _Guess that was a lie too_**

Definitely a lie. If he could not picture a life without her, how come he seemed so well being away. Well, not really well since he lost his puppet but hey, ain't he supposed to be at least a bit down about it and not looking so happy hanging out with his pals? They had been a thing for at least two years. Didn't that even count as something to be sad and sorry for? Tsk, how easy he lied and how easy she believed his lies. Anyway at least now she knew better than to believe an empty promise.

 ** _And baby I'll be moving on_**

 ** _And I'm glad to see you're happy_**

 ** _Hanging with your side chicks_**

 ** _But do they do what I did?_**

And because he IS the uncaring, cold boy who was never fazed, a break up was nothing. He's a good looker and there's a long line of girls who wanted to replace her and she's more than willing to give way. If before she was too possessive, now she being generous. There's no reason for her to deny all those girl a chance to taste what it feels like to be treated like a trash. She just hope that one of those girls could make him feel the way she made him feel and do what she did for him.

No. No one could ever do what she did for him and that's his biggest lost. No one would ever love him the way she did because she is Juvia Lockser and she is uniquely created by God with no one to be compared with and she finally learned that that's why she's so happy to finally loving someone else aside from a boy named Gray Fullbuster who never saw her worth. She's now happily loving herself.

Juvia sighed and set down her pen with a smile.

Love Yourself.

Sometimes it's not that bad to put yourself above anything and anyone else. It's not about being egocentric or self centered. It's simply your responsibility and duty to yourself. To have dignity and self respect to who you are. It doesn't matter if someone let you down. It doesn't mean you can't pick up yourself and be happy on your own.

Maybe next time when she falls in love again it will finally be different. Now that she know her worth, it will be easier to make other people see it too.

She was not just a girl looking for someone to love; she is a girl wishing to be loved.

 **ΩΩΩ**

 **Done!**

 **Hands down.**

 **This one was the easiest one shot I ever made. Words were just flowing out of my mind down to the tip of my fingers as I wrote it. I hope you like it because this one is very close to my heart. I just used Gray and Juvia and their love but I was technically telling a story about my own feelings here. I really want to shout out loud that HEY YOU STUPID BOY I AM WORTH IT!**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think about this.**

 **Yours Truly,**

 **YoseiNoAme**

 **P.S.**

 **I do not write songs when I'm sad but I do write stories when I'm feeling down. That's my own refuge.**


End file.
